Anna stirred slowly. Her head ached with each thought. The room was far too bright this morning, painfully bright, although she had not yet opened her eyes. She wished she could call for Michelle to close the heavy drapes but was afraid to raise her voice for fear her head would explode. What had she done to herself? Cautiously, she opened one eye, to test the level of pain she could endure. When she did, she sat up and looked around, both eyes opened wide. Where was she? This was not her room.
Panic filled the valleys between the waves of pain. Her stomach roiled from the excess of wine she had consumed the night before. Someone stirred beside her. She was startled to find Justin beside her. He was covered to his waist, and his bare chest rose and fell in a comfortable sleep.
Anna reached for his robe, and slipped it around her as she slid from the bed. She backed away, opened the door, and tried to get out without waking him. It was hard to breathe as she looked around. What had she done? She couldn't remember—exactly.
She looked around the bedroom and the sitting room as she braced her back against the doorframe. She found the evidence of the night's escapades scattered all around. Clothes lay abandoned here and there on the floor in both rooms. Wisps of memory accompanied each article.
Justin had met her at the door of his suite. His shirt was Shakespearean with full sleeves and wide cuffs, open to reveal the muscular chest she had glimpsed earlier. His dark trousers were snug, and accented narrow hips and muscular thighs. She had commented on his appearance; it reminded her of a pirate or perhaps a lover from the Renaissance period.
Anna wore a sleeveless white summer dress, with a sky blue silk wrap. She had left her hair down, in cascades of fiery curls, flames licking at the white material. His shirt lay there, before the sofa where she'd pushed it from his shoulders, and let it fall during a lingering, passionate kiss. Her wrap lay coiled on the sofa and her shoes abandoned beside the door early in the evening due to the wine.
Two wine glasses remained on the low table. She had hardly been able to stand after she'd consumed much of a bottle with and after dinner. They'd been placed there before Justin opened the back of her dress during a caress-filled embrace. He gently stroked his fingers down her neck, across her shoulders, and pushed the loosed bodice as his hands continued down her arms. He sank before her, and pulled her down.
They knelt face-to-face before they became entwined on the thick carpet as they had in the tide. He delivered kisses and tender caresses until her senses screamed for so much more. When she could endure no more of the rapturous sensations, he suddenly stood and scooped her up in his arms, allowing her dress to fall away.
There it lay, in a crumpled heap where it dropped as he literally lifted her out of it, and left her in a camisole and underskirt. He swept her into the candlelit bedroom, and kicked the door closed.
Her stockings, where were they? There. Draped on the foot of the bed where he had placed them. She could feel his soft hands; they slid down each thigh as he removed one stocking, then the other.
Anna gasped. She didn't want to remember. She gathered her things from the two rooms and piled them on a chair in the bedroom. She returned to the bedside, and quietly searched for her undergarments. Justin had untied the ribbon ties of the camisole —slowly. Anna shook her head to dismiss the thought as she found the discarded garments at the edge of the bed.
Anna feared Edward would come in if she dressed in the sitting room so she closed the door, turned her back to the bed and tried to organize her things. She shook out her dress, and heard movement behind her. She turned to find Justin had pulled himself up and leaned against the upholstered headboard, watching her.
"Good morning." He smiled. "Sleep well?" How could he be so matter of fact? So perfectly calm?
"Justin." Anna blurted out his name.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, not looking too concerned.
"Oh, uh, nothing." She tried to maintain an air of indifference. But could not. "Oh, everything." She clutched her dress as she sank to a pile on the floor.
Anna buried her face in her dress. Tears burned her eyes.
Before she knew it, Justin was by her side. He pulled her to her feet, and held her. "I thought the night went perfectly," he commented. "What is it?" His voice carried a full measure of concern. "Are you so displeased with me? Did I not pleasure you?" He wrapped her in his arms and stroked her hair.
"It's not you." She fought to control her tears. "It's me. I’m afraid of what I have done."
"What you’ve done?" He looked into her eyes, his brows raised. "Isn't it what we’ve done? I did have a part in this, you know. A most satisfying part." He smiled again.
Anna's mouth pulled into a frown from the horrible way she felt—emotionally and physically. "Yes, you had a part but you don’t have to go home to face a spouse, knowing what you’ve done. I feel so…" She hesitated over the word.
"Guilty?" Justin offered.
"Yes." She looked up at him. "Very guilty."
He laughed, and pulled her to his warm, soothing chest once more. "You'll get used to it. You’ll see. In a few days, you'll think nothing of it."
"Really?" She clung to the hope.
"Really." His voice reassured her. "You will only remember what a wonderful night we had."
Just as she felt better, a wave of nausea swept over her; a sour taste filled the back of her throat. Anna didn't know if it was fear or the wine but it was most disagreeable. She pushed Justin gently away and sat down on the chair.
"Are you all right?" Justin asked.
"I'm feeling a bit ill, probably the wine." Or the guilt.
He went to the wardrobe, and put on trousers. He pulled on a shirt, but left it hanging open as he returned to her side.
"We need to get you something to eat. That should fix you right up."
Anna stood now that the nausea subsided. She pulled on the underskirt, turned her back to Justin as she dropped his robe, and slipped into her camisole. She suddenly felt modest. He gave a short laugh.
She swallowed. "If something is amusing, I could use a laugh."
"Well, it would certainly be too soon to consider the possibility of a child, wouldn't it?" He laughed again as he buttoned his shirt.
Anna's world collapsed.
* * * *
The remainder of the morning was a blur. They went to the dining room for breakfast. Although Anna still didn't feel up to facing people, it would have been too obvious had they ordered food to Justin's room since they had ordered dinner to be brought up the night before. The hotel employees were probably used to seeing this type of intrigue but Anna didn't want to be remembered in case she should ever return to the Grand Hotel Brighton.
She quietly slipped through the door of her suite so as not to wake Michelle and changed into her traveling clothes. She met Justin in the dining salon. As they ate, Edward and Michelle passed by the dining room doors. Anna groaned.
"What?" Justin asked.
"Michelle. She must know I didn’t return to my room last night." She felt miserable all over again.
"Don't worry." Justin casually turned his attention back to his steak and eggs. "She didn't make it back, either. Notice they were coming in, not going out." He looked at her, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips as he twitched his brows.
"Where has she been?" Anna narrowed her eyes.
"With Edward—dancing, gaming, somewhere about town. Probably watching the sunrise from the pier, if I know Edward, followed by an intimate breakfast at a sunny sidewalk café somewhere or suchlike. He really is a romantic."
"He kept her out all night?"
"Mmm. That's what I told him to do. He really is a very good valet, don't you think?" He looked rather pleased with himself and nodded toward her plate. "Eat. Don't want you to be ill on your way home."
"You see to every detail, don't you?" Anna toyed with the food on her plate. "Very professional, I would say."
Justin stopped eating and pinned her with his eyes. "I do everything professionally. No loose ends."
"Except possibly where children are concerned," she said, rather harshly as the thought plagued her mind.
"An acceptable risk," he countered.
"What if it's true?" Dread overcame her once more.
"I'll take care of it, as well. Don't worry." He patted her hand, took his cup, and leaned back in his chair, every bit enjoying the morning.
He said not to worry but when Anna thought of Chase finding out, she couldn’t help it.
* * * *
When Anna returned to her room after breakfast, she found a very worn out, red-faced, nervous Michelle attempting to pack clothes into the trunks, preparing for the trip home.
"Michelle?" Anna hardly said her name when the maid broke into tears.
"Oh, madam." She turned at the sound of Anna 's voice. "I’m so ashamed." Tears fell from her brown eyes, and dropped one by one onto Anna 's lavender dress she held draped over her arm.
"What is the matter, dear?" Anna went to the girl's side and placed an arm around her shoulders, then guided her to the bed to sit down. Michelle's shoulders shook with silent sobs.
"Oh, madam, I am so sorry. I should have come in last night. I'll pack my belongings and find another post as soon as we return home."
"Are you giving me notice? How could you leave me after this wonderful week we’ve enjoyed?" Anna squeezed her shoulders reassuringly.
"But don't you want me gone?" She looked at Anna wide-eyed. "I didn't return last night. Not at all."
"Did you have a good time with Edward?" Anna spoke in a soothing voice to try to draw her out.
"Oh, yes, madam. We had a wonderful time. Have you ever seen the sun rise from the end of a pier?" She wrapped herself in the memory of the morning. Anna could see it in her face.
"No, and that, my girl, sounds like a perfect memory for you to take home with you. I’ll strike a bargain with you," she said, patting Michelle's hand, "I'll not tell Mr. Trent of your behavior if you'll not tell him of mine. Then we shall both keep our place. Are we agreed?"
Michelle smiled brightly once more. "Yes, madam. Oh, thank you so much."
Anna could see the weight of Michelle's guilt lifted. If only she could be so happy and carefree.
"All right, then." Anna offered her hand to seal the deal. Michelle shook it vigorously. "Now, I want you to do one more thing."
"Anything, madam." She laid the dress aside and turned her complete attention to Anna.
"Go to your room and get a few hours of sleep. You will do me no good on the train if you can't stay awake." Anna pushed her forward to stand, and then toward the door.
"But the packing?"
"It will wait a few hours. The train is not until this afternoon. You can get four hours of sleep and still have time to pack. Now, go."
* * * *
Michelle managed to get everything packed and ready to go in plenty of time. She was tired but in bright spirits as she saw the trunks off to the station. Anna stood in the foyer, and waited for a carriage to take them when Justin burst through the door. He smiled as he saw her, and rushed to her side.
"Mrs. Trent, thank heaven you’ve not gone. I was afraid I'd missed you." He took a moment to catch his breath.
"I was hoping to say good-bye to you, Mr. Waring. Thank you for escorting us during this week. Mr. Trent will be glad to know we were in safe hands. It was very kind of you." Anna spoke the words she thought others that milled about the foyer expected to hear. She said nothing of what was truly in her heart: what she really wanted to tell Justin. She hoped he knew. His eyes were sympathetic as they caressed her face. She held out her hand to him. He took it and lightly squeezed before he released it.
"I bought you something." He reached into his coat pocket. He retrieved a small box and pressed it into her hand. "Don't open it until you are on the train. It’s a small reminder of your holiday in Brighton. I hope it was all you expected it to be, Mrs. Trent."
Anna hated hearing him call her by that name. She wished to hear him call her "Anna" once more. She hated going home to Chase but she could take with her the memory of the pleasures beyond imagination she had experienced at Justin's hands. Nothing Chase would do could take away her fantasy come true.
The ride to the station was quiet and the loading on the train hectic and loud, but Anna's thoughts remained on the man she left standing on the sidewalk outside the Grand Hotel, a sparkle in his ice blue eyes and a smile on his face. Before she knew it, the train lurched forward and they were on their way.
Anna took the gift from her bag, and carefully opened it. She found a golden seashell on a gold chain, a replica of the one he found on the beach. She smiled at the memory. Had it been only yesterday? So much had happened in such a short time. Anna placed the chain around her neck, felt the shell against her skin, and remembered the soft touch of Justin's lips.
The train screamed toward home, and in Anna's opinion, traveled much too fast.
* * * *
Anna's first thought was to contact Colin. Chase was not home and she really didn't care to see him just yet. Colin was foremost in her mind. She had to talk to him. She could not quite decide if she should tell him about Justin. Would he understand or would he be judgmental?
"Madam," came the excited voice of Mrs. Weathers. "How well you look. The sea really has done you good. I've heard that it is good for you and just look at you. You have color in your cheeks again."
"Mrs. Weathers, I missed you so much," Anna said. She pulled out a small wrapped package from her bag and handed it to Mrs. Weathers with a smile. "I brought you a little something."
The elderly housekeeper opened the gift, and lifted out the bracelet, holding it up in the light. Turning it around, she eyed each of the charms that glittered around the chain.
"Oh, madam, it's beautiful," she exclaimed.
“I thought you should get something for having to stay here with Mr. Trent." Anna laughed. "Where is he, by the way?"
"He hasn't been home in several days." She dropped her eyes at the confession.
"No matter." Anna mounted the stairs as Michelle came through the door with her bags. "Mrs. Weathers, have Mrs. Henderson fix a snack for Michelle. She has had a tiresome week and needs to eat and rest."
Michelle dropped the bags and curtsied her gratitude. Her eyes held the special secrets they shared.
"See to it she rests tonight and tomorrow as well. She was the perfect companion for me." Anna nodded her approval.
"Thank you, madam." Michelle dropped another curtsy.
"No, Michelle, thank you." Anna turned to climb the stairs. "Mrs. Weathers, please bring my tea," she called without turning around. "I will be in the parlor in a few minutes. Have the service brought there."
"Yes, madam." Mrs. Weathers turned to direct the driver that brought in the trunks.
Anna went to her room to change from the traveling clothes into something more comfortable. She brushed out her hair and put on a light summery dress. Somehow she felt younger, more carefree. Justin was correct. She hardly felt any guilt although twenty-four hours had not yet passed. She no longer suffered from her morning illness, nor had she suffered on the train. The travel was enjoyable, only the destination was not to her liking.
After she refreshed herself, she descended to the parlor to find Liza setting the tea service on the table. She poured out a cup, handed it to Anna as she passed by, and waited.
"Will there be anything else, madam?" she asked.
"Yes, could you tell Shaw that I would like to see him as soon as he is free." "Yes, madam." She left the room, and closed the door behind her.
Anna went to her writing desk and wrote a note to Colin, to ask him to meet her at the café in the morning for breakfast. After dispatching Shaw with the message, she settled herself for a quiet evening.
Anna spent the evening reading while she tenderly caressed the gold shell suspended around her neck, and remembered. Chase would never know what a wonderful thing he had done for her.
* * * *
"Anna?" Chase's voice broke into her sleep. She stirred, not ready to open her eyes. The soft call came again. "Anna."
"Yes, Chase." She groaned, and settled deeper into the pillows.
"Did you enjoy your holiday?"
"Yes, very much. Thank you for sending me." As if he really cared. She was sure he only wanted her out of his way for a while. "Did you miss me?" She had to ask, though she already knew he had not.
"Of course," he said, exaggerating, "I truly missed you."
"What time is it?" She was yet unwilling to open her eyes.
"It's six a.m."
Anna groaned, and pulled the pillow over her head. "Why are you waking me so early?"
"I just arrived and wanted to see you." He tenderly stroked her back. "Don't you want to see me?"
At six a.m.? Truthfully? No.
She kept the thought to herself. Anna turned to face him. He was in the bed beside her, propped up on one elbow. His eyes were red and half-closed. Why couldn't they be totally closed so she could go back to sleep? She forced a smile and lied. "Of course, I'm happy to see you. I'm just a bit tired, that’s all. Holidays can make one tired, you know." She fell back into the pillow, and hoped he would go away. He continued to stroke her arm.
"I thought you might want to properly thank me for sending you." He kissed her neck. His touch repulsed Anna but she dare not let him know. She couldn't understand why he had a sudden interest. The only time he was interested in her in the last several months was when it was a show of dominance. Now, he acted as if he truly loved her. She had serious doubts about the fact and wondered what he had in mind.
Chase pulled her against him. He was romantic, as he had been before they were married. Anna wanted to close her eyes, to enjoy his touch for once, but she feared if she did, he would revert to his usual cruel and abusive self.
"You know I love you. I always have." He placed light kisses here and there about her face, neck and shoulders. "You told me once you would never leave me. Do you remember?"
"I remember." She succumbed to his caresses and soft words. She closed her eyes, and envisioned this was how it was supposed to have been from the beginning. How she wished they could go back and begin again. How she wished they could change the things that separated them. How she wished she could love him, if she ever had. But it was enough to hear him profess his love for her. It was enough for her to remain his wife.
Passion escalated as she returned his attentions for the first time with deep desire and longing. She truly wanted him, for the first time. She wanted him to be as passionate and tender as her fantasy lover. There would be no guilt for her now. There was only the ecstasy that should have existed from the beginning.
To Be Continued...
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
This book may not be reproduced in whole, or in part, by any means, without the expressed written consent of the author.
Any unauthorized reproduction of this book, other than by written authorization or contract by and with the author, is a violation of Federal Law and will be prosecuted to the full extent of that law.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination, or are fictitiously used. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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© 2008 Jena Galifany/Marge Conrad
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